Therapy
by The Bringer of Evil Irish Jackals From Beyond The Grave
Summary: Hao & Yoh go to therapy. What more can I say? T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Okay, here Hao & Yoh go to a therapist and get well, therapy. They also talks about their deepest darkest secrets, not seen on TV. This a humor fic after all, so expect A LOT of it to be stupid. I type as it comes out of my head.

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"So, Mr. Asakura, why are you here?" said the therapist.

"Because I need therapy, dumbo."

"Okay, let's start. Now, do you have any…problems?"

"Problems? Well, there is my incessant obsession to take over the world. And destroy all humans."

"Now, why do have this, problem?"

"I dunno."

"Are there any childhood events that could lead to this obsession?"

"Well, I used to watch a lot of TV."

"Watch kind of TV, specifically?"

"Uh, Power Rangers."

"I see."

"Yeah, I liked that show. Those were the good ol' days."

"So, Mr. Asakura, do you think the Power Rangers may have fueled yo8ur ambition for world domination?"

"I used to like the pink ranger. I used to run around in a pink ranger suit when I was young."

"Oh, I see. Now, back to my previous question."

"I don't know if it had any impact."

"Okay, do you have any enemies, rivals and the like?"

"Well, there is angry gang chasing after me because I accidentally gave one of them a wedgie. Then there's Yoh…"

"Yoh?"

"Yeah, he's my evil twin. He must die. Because once, he cut me in half. And it hurt like I got the constipation of a lifetime."

"Uh-huh? Cut you in half?"

"Yeah, wanna see the scar?"

"N-no thank you."

"Suit yourself."

"Anyway, what else has your brother done to you?"

"Well, he um, teased me, threw me off a cliff, made me bald, vomited on me, ate my dinner…"

"Right…could you excuse me for a second?"

"Sure."

"Nurse where's my other patient?"

"He's right in this room, sir."

"Okay."

"Okay, Mr. Asakura…how goes it?"

"You can call me Yoh."

"So why are you here?"

"Cuz my fiancée told me to go here or she would attack me."

"Oh."

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

:"Right. Anyway, do you have any problems?"

"There's my brother, Hao."

"What can you tell me about Hao?"

"Well, I think he's gay."

"Gay, as in happy?"

"No, the other kind of gay."

'Oh. Why do you think this?"

"Well, because I mean, if you look at him, he looks **SO** gay. First, he doesn't cut his hair. Now it can touch his butt. Also, he wears earrings, I mean, in my own honest opinion, that's one of the gayest things you can do. And he worries about his figure too much. I mean only girls do that! And don't get me started about how long he stays on the phone…"

End Fic. To be continued. If it gets good reviews.


	2. Fluffy

Author's Notes: Cool, good reviews.

"Could you excuse me for a second?" said the therapist.

"Sure." Said Yoh.

The Therapist walks balk to Hao.

"Sorry I took so long."

"It's alright." Said Hao.

"Now, where were we?"

"We were talking about how many bad things my evil twin brother Yoh has done to me."

"Oh, now, let's scratch that and move on to another problem."

"Right."

"Now, have you ever considered yourself…gay?"

"Excuse me?"

"Have you ever thought that you were gay?"

"**HELL NO**."

"Oh, I see. But have you ever done anything that might be considered gay?"  
"Why in the name of blue hell are you asking these questions?"

"Umm…call it curiosity."

"Argh, of course I'm not gay!"

"Uh-huh."

"Could we get back with my unyielding desire to conquer the world?"

"Of course. I'm sorry, Mr. Asakura."

"You better be."

"Uh…right. So, do you think there are any other factors that could've contributed to your…dreams?"

"Hmmm…lemme think...let's see…Uh, there was this time, when I watched a 2 day sci-fi movie marathon."

"And how would that contribute to your dream?"

"Well, I was pretty young at the time. And most of the movies involved some loony plotting for world domination."

"Oh."

"Then I watched this nice Dragon Ball Z marathon and it gave inspiration to bulk up."

"Bulk Up?"

"Yeah. I lifted weights and all that other crap."

"Could you excuse me one more time?"  
"Sure."

The therapist goes back to Yoh.

"Sorry I took so long."

"It's okay."

"So, what else do you think about your brother?"

"Hmmm…other than the sheer and obvious fact that he's gay? Hmm…he was on drugs once."

"Drugs?"

"Yeah! He took some after he watched that Dragon Ball Z marathon."

"Huh?"

"Yes, after which, he took steroids and he got all muscular."

"I see."

"I was angry he couldn't the normal way like everyone else! When I talk about it he always denies it."

"Uh-huh."

"Then he bragged about his muscles for an entire month. **AN ENTIRE FRIGGIN' MONTH. **He didn't even earn them! The next month he bought Barbie Dolls and was heartbroken when our dog, Fluffy bit an arm off. Then **HE RAPED AND KILLED FLUFFY**. Damn him."

"He killed your dog…"

"I'm not done yet, then, after murdering sweet, sweet, Fluffy. Then, he got earrings. Then he got all gay and had plots for World Domination."

"Uh-huh."

"Lemme continue-"

"I'll be back."

The therapist walks back to Hao.

"Well you certainly took your sweet time." Said Hao.

"I'm sorry."

"Never mind that, now continue, minion."

"Have you killed anybody or anything, Mr. Asakura?"

"Hmm…well, I killed this Street Dog once."

"Street dog?"

"Yeah, it was ugly."

"Ugly, you say?'

"But my lousy good-for-nothing-except-killing-me brother got all angry at me. "

"Then I furthered my plans for takeover of central Japan."

END CHAPTER 2. TO BE CONTINUED.


End file.
